redwill

Earl Grey ‘tea’ is an abomination, unworthy of ingestion, an offense to any palate not paralysed to the point of insensibility to all but the hammerblows of overweeningly egotistical strong chemicals.

The only reason it is popular is an expressed preference for it by the fictional character, Jean Luc Picard. It is a testament to the charisma of this character portrayed by Patrick Stewart that Earl Grey tea is widely consumed by characters in fanfiction who are of course quite unaware of its flesh cringing irritants suspended in formerly innocent water, and the sinus-opening gaseous emissions of its flavouring agent, the bergamot oil that is better suited to nasal inhalers of nearly explosive effectiveness.

The noble name of tea should never be applied to the vile concoction known as Earl Grey.